I've said it before, and have always meant it, but it seems like maybe you didn't believe me or something.

In High School
I was told I would miss it.

I didn't.

But they also told me life will go fast,
over and over again
I was told to enjoy the time while I had it.

People are still telling me that.

I recognize that right now I have time
and my body, while young and able,
and my brain, while quick and bright
are in the best of shape,
but time will take it's toll.
I sort of already feel like I'm losing it...

I have time NOW.
I do not want to waste it
and regret it.

What I regret is that I did not know what I know now when I was in high school, even college. What an opportunity to reach out, lost. It's over, now I must empower others to do what I did not.

Forgiveness is about the past,
reconciliation is about the present and
trust is about the future.

I trust YOU! YOU are my future.

I am still alive, and while I lost chances,
I was still growing,
I was still learning
to love You.

I am still alive, and while I will still lose chances (we humans are all imperfect beings)
I am still growing,
still learning
to love You.

Please, God. I do not want to lose an opportunity to speak of You because of my disbelief and disobedience. I'm asking for a quick change of myself--I know you are into moving slowly with our hearts, but if I can take it, change me to be completely and totally translucent (not transparent) so only the light will shine through, soon. It is urgent. I cannot bear to let another opportunity slip through my fingers, for Your sake.

Jesus, You stand. You do not need me (though you love me). All I ask is to be Your humble servant, Your vessel, here is my life. Take it, use it.